is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
