also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
When did angry sex become our thing?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
