Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
