forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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