I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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