omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize