Ambien. No doubt about it.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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