Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
