margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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