I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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