Ketchup is God's man juice
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
