Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My liver just broke up with me...
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
