I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
