yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
