so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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