Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
