I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
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The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
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I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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