that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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