high people should be assigned attendants
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
