Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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