I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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