If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Randomize
