I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
they need to just BURY HIM!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
