so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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