omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
