Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
