she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
