BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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