would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
All I want is dick and wine.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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