I want to stick my p in your. b.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
