put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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