then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
