girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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