Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
