just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
