I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not boning my boss.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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