the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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