i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
