whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
