i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
