wrigley field is MILF paradise
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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