Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
