I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
