i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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