Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
