i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I want to have your abortion
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
