what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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