A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
