I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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