Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
