I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
