the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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