Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
