oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
