She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
