I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
