I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
