Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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