IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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