our cab driver is having phone sex.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
