Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
