GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize