We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
