If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
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I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
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I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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